Mediating Conflict,
Embracing Peace

Issues that warrant investigation regarding infidelity

Perhaps you and your spouse got married in a Washington church or courthouse more than 10 or 20 years ago. Then again, maybe you’re among the newlyweds of the state. Either way, it’s not impossible that your relationship has withstood numerous challenges as it is common for most married couples to hit some rough spots in their journeys. However, if your relationship is teetering on the brink of divorce and you suspect infidelity is a causal factor, you’re definitely not alone in your struggle.

Signs often exist that a spouse is being unfaithful. Your marriage is unique, however, so even though you have issues in common with other couples, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have the same problems. If you have evidence that your spouse is cheating on you, it’s always a good idea to learn more about resources that are available in your area to provide support.

Do any of these issues sound familiar?

As mentioned earlier, hitting a rough spot in your relationship isn’t uncommon for married couples. If you have children, parenthood can bring added joy but also added stress to your marriage. However, if you experience one or more of the issues included in the following list, you may want to further investigate the situation:

  • Does your spouse seem especially secretive? If he or she tries to conceal cellphone conversations or computer use, it may be a sign of trouble.
  • If you’re used to your spouse arriving home at approximately the same time every day and his or her schedule has suddenly changed, you may want to inquire more about it.
  • Is money missing from your jointly owned bank account? This is often a sign that a spouse is cheating and using money from an account to fund an affair, such as paying for dates or buying gifts for a lover.
  • When you ask your spouse about time away, money or other issues, does he or she become defensive or combative? This is often a sign of infidelity.
  • Has your sex life changed? Whether you and your spouse are less intimate than you used to be or have experienced an increase in your private time together, if you’re struggling in your marriage, these issues could be a sign that your spouse is having an affair.
  • Does your partner blame you for every problem in your relationship? Spouses who cheat often feel guilty and then project those feelings onto their spouses because they want to blame someone else for their problems.

Marriage isn’t easy. Neither is divorce. The good news is that you don’t have to go through such times alone. There are counselors, ministers and experienced attorneys who can provide guidance and support as needed. You may also have friends or relatives who have gone through similar experiences. Discussing your concerns in a private setting may help you formulate a plan and can also help you learn more about how to protect your and your children’s interests if you decide to sever your marital ties.