Mediating Conflict,
Embracing Peace

The pact you may benefit from making with your co-parent

There are likely many reasons why you and your child’s other parent ultimately opted to end your romantic relationship. Bad blood may linger between you. But, for better and for worse, you remain linked by the child that you share. And it may ultimately benefit you and your child if you can move past that bad blood. It may benefit everyone involved in your co-parenting relationship if you and your co-parent make a pact that you will do your best to get along with one another.

Numerous studies indicate that children can benefit from divorce if the alternative is growing up in a household filled with marital tension. It therefore stands to reason that it is the parental tension that harms children more than any distance which may separate their dual households. However, that parental tension may carry over into co-parenting relationships. And as a result, that kind of tension may harm both you and your child even after your romantic relationship has ended.

No parent is perfect and no co-parenting relationship is likely to be free of stress and tension at all times. However, if you choose to do your best to get along with your co-parent, you will do yourself and your child a great service. After all, it is understandably difficult to build a healthy and happy future for both yourself and your child if you are struggling with toxic tension more often than not.

If you and your co-parent simply cannot get along despite your best efforts, do not hesitate to speak with your attorney about ways that you may be able to insulate your child against this tension by revising your parenting agreement.

Source: The Huffington Post, “The Vow My Ex-Husband And I Made To Our Kids After Divorce,” Brittany Wong, March 6, 2015