Mediating Conflict,
Embracing Peace

Are you divorcing a narcissist?

No two marriages in Washington end for the very same reasons. True, if some couples were to share their experiences with others who divorce, they’d likely come across one or more sets of spouses who have gone through or can relate to similar circumstances. However, the exact events that led to the breakdown of your marriage are not going to be carbon copies of another couple’s situation. Every relationship is unique and, therefore, so is every divorce.

If you happen to be one of many people who were married to a narcissist, you may really have your work cut out for you in trying to achieve an amicable settlement in divorce. For one thing, a typical narcissist is most concerned with self. For another, beyond being self-centered much of the time, the next highest priority in the average narcissist’s life is to control others. This combination may make divorcing a narcissist quite challenging.

Things narcissists focus on in divorce

You’ve likely heard the saying that perception is a portion of reality. This means your perception of reality may be different than that of your former spouse’s. If the person you’re divorcing is a narcissist, you may notice some of the following things in divorce:

  • A narcissist gets very angry if someone takes away his or her control, whether it be over a person or a situation. By getting divorced, your former spouse may feel that he or she is losing control of you and may take the anger that arises from that thought out on everyone in the courtroom.
  • Many psychologists and counselors say narcissism is an actual personality disorder. Disordered things are generally not rational things; therefore, if you’re dealing with a person whose thinking is disordered, there’s a great chance his or her behavior in court will also be disordered.
  • A narcissist often believes that everyone is wrong and he or she is always right. This type of mindset can definitely add stress to the divorce process. Many types of divorce issues require negotiation, cooperation and compromise in order to achieve fair and agreeable results. Any type of my-way-or-the-highway attitude can make amicable agreements nearly impossible to achieve.

The bottom line is that you have rights and no one in Washington or elsewhere can undermine those rights. There are concrete ways to protect your rights. Sometimes, the swiftest, most thorough means for doing so is to rely on experienced legal representation in court.