Infidelity in a marriage can take many forms. Lying about finances, concealing debt or hiding bank accounts are all examples of financial infidelity. If you believe your spouse is keeping secrets from you related to money, it may be a sign of an underlying problem that could threaten your marriage. Furthermore, if your marriage does come to an end, financial infidelity can complicate the divorce process.
Nearly a quarter of all participants in a 2018 study said they did not believe that their spouses were always honest with them about money, while 15% admitted to not always being honest with their partners. The reasons for keeping financial secrets are usually emotional in nature and indicate unhealthy attitudes in your relationship.
1. Resentment
Income inequality in a marriage can breed resentment. If your spouse earns less money than you, he or she may hide money or spend it in secret in retaliation for what he or she perceives as controlling behavior on your part. On the other hand, if your spouse is the higher earner, he or she may hide money to punish you for what he or she perceives as irresponsible spending habits.
2. Embarrassment
Sometimes your spouse spends money in opposition to the goals that you have set for yourselves as a couple. Out of guilt for falling short of what you agreed on, he or she may try to conceal the mistake. The larger the mistake, i.e., the more money spent, the more embarrassing it may be and the harder it is to own up to it.
3. Concealment
Your spouse may have a habit that he or she does not want you to know about. Maybe he or she is having an affair or has a drug addiction. Your spouse conceals the money that he or she has spent in the hopes of preventing you from finding out about the secret.