Mediating Conflict,
Embracing Peace

Lessons Learned From Someone Who Has Been Through A Divorce (Part 1)

During our most recent podcast, we had the chance to sit down and talk with someone who has been through a divorce. The road ahead may seem overwhelming for anyone who is about to begin the process. The life you had envisioned for yourself and your children will look different. 

That doesn’t guarantee it will be worse. Right now, you can shape your future. By listening to the advice of the people who have come before you, you can implement their advice into your divorce process, ensuring the best outcome for you and your family. 

Set Your Expectations

Like everything else, the court system has its limitations. Critiquing, praising, or condemning it isn’t going to have a direct impact on your future. However, allowing the courts to utilize their strengths and abilities will. The court system can:

  • Divide property and assets
  • Determine the custodial parent
  • Approve fair visitation schedules

An offshoot of this to consider is that you cannot rely on the court for everything. What we mean is that even after you have agreed to the terms and your divorce is finalized, you still need to maintain a healthy relationship with your former spouse. 

Work Through Your Issues Appropriately 

To build off the previous section, an agreement doesn’t resolve all of life’s issues. When you drop off your kids with your former spouse, you will likely feel many intense emotions. These are going to have to be processed and dealt with. Otherwise, you risk some of your residual anger, resentment, or guilt impacting your relationship with your children and other people. 

People may get so focused on getting the result they want in the courtroom that they forget to handle their own mental health. By ending your marriage, you and your former spouse agree to start a new chapter in your lives. How can you be expected to do that if you continue fighting with your spouse despite no longer being married? 

Take the issues you had while being married and resolve them through therapy or respectful conversations with your ex. Are these easy? No, but they are a step towards discovering a more fulfilling life.  

Akiona Law 

At Akiona Law, we foster a client-focused atmosphere because we understand the challenges you face during family law issues. That is why we make ourselves available to you during any stage of the process; we are here to support, advise, and defend you. Contact Akiona for a consultation by calling 425-740-2209. Call us anytime—nights, holidays, and weekends.