Facing a divorce brings emotional stress and financial uncertainty. Going to court can be confrontational, expensive and slow. That is why so many people in Washington choose mediation instead.
Mediation is a collaborative, entirely voluntary process that gives you and your spouse control over your future, allowing you to design a solution that works for your family, not one imposed by a judge.
The mediator: A neutral guide
Mediation involves you, your spouse and a neutral third party. The mediator’s job is to facilitate productive conversation, clarify misunderstandings and focus on solutions. Spouses are responsible for having their own lawyers address and review all necessary legal topics.
Importantly, the mediator is not a judge; they will not offer legal counsel, tell you what to agree to or take sides. The process focuses on finding mutually acceptable solutions while discouraging spouses from using accusatory language and assigning blame.
Reaching agreements on key issues
Mediation addresses all the crucial issues necessary to finalize your divorce. These include:
- Child custody and parenting plans
- Child support and spousal support
- Dividing marital assets and debts
If you agree on all issues, you formalize the terms in a binding settlement agreement, which clearly defines the conditions of your divorce.
How the process works
Mediation begins with an initial consultation, where the mediator establishes the ground rules and sets the agenda. Next, you and your spouse must provide complete and honest disclosure of all necessary financial information, including tax returns, bank statements, property valuations and debt records. Successful negotiations require full transparency.
During the joint sessions, the mediator works to break complex disputes into smaller, manageable pieces. For instance, they might address the division of retirement accounts first, and then move to a parenting schedule.
These discussions are confidential, meaning the details cannot be used against you later in court if you do not reach an agreement. However, limited exceptions exist for certain communications like threats of violence or evidence of abuse.
Confidentiality encourages you both to speak openly about your concerns and priorities. The goal is to facilitate productive communication, helping you explore creative solutions and ultimately arrive at a mutually acceptable agreement.
Finalizing your divorce
After drafting the settlement agreement, you must still submit it to the court for approval. A judge reviews it to ensure it is legally sound and, if you have children, that it serves their best interests. Once the judge approves it, the agreement becomes official.
However, even if you reach a deal quickly, Washington state law requires a mandatory minimum of 90 days to pass from the filing date of the divorce petition and the date the other party was properly served (whichever is later) before a judge can legally finalize your decree.
While mediation is a peaceful process, having skilled legal representation review all proposed terms and the final agreement is crucial to protect your rights and future financial interests.